The Automail
by J3nna
Summary: Wounded severely and having his automail ripped from his body, Edward makes his way to the Rockbell house. Even though he almost lost his life, all he can think about is how he almost died without telling a certain blonde how he feels about her.
1. Prologue

**The story is set before the Promised Day.**

**Look, this story ****will be rated M****. There isn't much of anything in this chapter, but there will be. Thank you.**

**Written from Edward's point of view.**

**-x-**

Groaning, I felt my automail leg give out. I could feel each bolt and screw unhinging themselves from the metal before the whole leg broke into mere pieces. Falling to the ground, I let out a slight scream as my nerves were ripped from the automail.

Having both my automail ripped off from my body had not only caused excruciating pain, but it made me getting to the Rockbell house even more difficult. I stopped moving for a second as the blood continued flowing from my body – I had deep gashes all over my body.

The rain came hard onto my back, and I could feel every cold drop on my body. I knew nobody could see me; the rain hid everything in a cloak of darkness. I had to do by this myself.

"Goddammit," I whispered to myself, resting my head on the ground. The contact with the cold, muddy ground sent slight relief through my body, but I couldn't give up now. I started dragging myself forward with my one arm. After all, the Rockbell house wasn't that far away; the falling rain just made it hard to see.

There had been a battle.

That bastard Mustang had decided to send each of us to a mission. I don't think it could even be called a mission. Al and I were to make sure of the defence and military tactics of two small towns. We had gone our separate ways for protection. I knew he was safe, though – the town he had been sent to had not been attacked. Only mine had been. Much to my distaste, the town had been dangerously near to Risembool, but at least I could make my way there now.

All the soldiers had died. Right before killing our attackers, my arm had been torn off and broken into pieces. My leg had been severed badly. Then and there, I knew it wouldn't hold on for too long. Instead of worrying about the pain the disconnection of nerves of my arm had caused, my mind had immediately thought of the blonde girl who was going to be hurt and disappointed, not to mention angry.

I grunted, but I knew the Rockbell house was close. There was the large rock we used to climb as kids. There was the abandoned field that was ideal for tag. And in front of me there was a road that split in two – one route leading to the Rockbell house, the other to the former Elric house.

I drew in a deep breath, and clutched a mound of dirt before me. I pulled with the little strength I had left, managing to drag myself slightly forward. Slowly, I continued doing so, and after what felt like eternity, the Rockbell house was in sight. I could see the light of that one window to the room the Rockbell women held their automail shop – it was always open, the light was always on.

"Winry," I whispered to myself.

I knew my left palm was now cut open because of the rocks and dirt I had been dragging myself forwards with. However, I kept going. Reach forward, grab, pull forward. Again. And again. And, yes, again. Again until I was right at the Rockbell porch.

I could feel how my head hurt, and how dizzy I was. My blood loss hadn't stopped, but I wasn't losing as much blood as I was before. I was within moments of passing out, but I couldn't allow myself to do so. I was too close now. I used the last of the strength in my arms, pulling my body up the five stairs. The door was right in front of me.

God, please let one of them hear me.

I made a fist with my hand, and pounded on the door as hard as I could. I could hear no answer. I looked up at the small string that hung beside the knob. It was the string that was connected to the small bell, which was to be ringed only in emergencies. This was how the Rockbell women could wake up to work in their shop.

I tried to grab for the thin piece of string, but I couldn't reach it. I rested my head against the door while I scrambled to stand with my one leg. Slowly, while pushing my weight against the door, I managed to stand whilst being supported by the door. I grabbed the string, satisfied by the loud ringing. I winced when it started; it didn't do anything to help my headache.

I heard faint footsteps behind the door.

_Thank God_, I thought as I let myself collapse onto the porch and fall into the darkness.

**-x-**

**For those who are wondering – I started this story before **_**Crippled**_**, and forgot about it. So no, I didn't just start two stories with an Elric just going to the Rockbell house injured. It was just a coincidence.**

**I am still continuing **_**Crippled**_**.**

**Review, please.**


	2. Chapter 1

I opened my eyes slowly, but I couldn't see anything; everything was hazy and dark. I closed them again.

For now, I concentrated on my breathing. I gathered some of the smells in the room; the fresh air, clean sheets, and some kind of strong, medicine-like smell. My head hurt still, and my ears were ringing. I couldn't hear anything expect that ringing.

I grunted, opening my eyes again. I could see distinct shapes and colors, but after blinking a few times I could see clearly. I found myself staring at a light colored wall. I turned my head, and even this simple movement sent a shock of pain through my body. Groaning, I looked around the room quickly. I recognized it; it was mine and Al's room.

I felt the soft bed beneath me. I smiled slightly; compared to the cold, muddy ground from before, this was heaven.

Amidst the silence, I heard a small, breath-like noise. I looked down, and my eyes widened when I saw Winry there. She was sitting in a chair next to my bed, but had crouched onto the side of me to sleep. I smiled; she looked beautiful. Painfully, I lifted my left arm and brought it to the side of her face, stroking it softly. She leaned into my hand, smiling in her sleep.

I had known Winry all my life.

She was the…she was the only one I could ever love. I would never admit this to anyone, however. I knew she couldn't love me back. I had hurt her so badly over the years; I had called her unattractive, I had made her cry, I had insulted her…and all of this was untrue. I thought the exact opposite; she was perfect. However, this was my way of isolating myself from her. I didn't let anyone in, except for Al.

She deserved better.

She mumbled something in her sleep, bringing me out of my thoughts. She blinked her eyes a few times, and before I knew it, her blue eyes were wide open and staring my right in the face. I could feel the blush rising on my cheeks.

"Edward…" she whispered, bringing her hands to my face. I could see the tears forming in her eyes. "Ed, I was so worried about you!" she shouted, wrapping her arms around me. I flinched at the high tone of her voice, but forgot about my pain as soon as she wrapped me in her arms.

I wrapped my hand around her waist, burying my face into her shoulder. "Winry…" I whispered so quietly I knew she couldn't hear me.

We stayed in this embrace for a while. I didn't know how much time passed – I didn't care.

She was the first to loosen her grip. I let my arm slide off her waist, and looked into her eyes. I loved her eyes.

"Ed…WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?" she screamed, the tears now sliding down her cheeks. "Do you have any idea how I felt when I opened that door, seeing you in barely one piece!?"

She closed her small hands into fists, and was very lightly hitting my shoulders. I don't think she knew, but it did hurt. Every thump caused a new wave of pain to course through my body, but I couldn't have cared less. I deserved this; I deserved this for making her cry. Again.

"Ed, you idiot," she said, resting her forehead against my chest. I could feel her tears dropping gently onto my abdomen.

I bought my hand on top of her head, stroking her hair gently. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I-I'm so so-sorry," I added, my voice cracking.

"I'm s-sorry I do this to you," I whispered, willing the tears not to fall.

She lifted her head to meet my eyes. "What do you mean?" she said gently, her hands on my shoulders.

I took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry I make you cry," I whispered, avoiding her gaze.

She brought her hands to my face, and turning my head gently so our eyes could meet. I stared into her eyes for a moment, before she let go of my face with a sigh. She linked her fingers on her lap.

"What happened?" she asked, keeping her eyes glued to her hands.

I swallowed. I didn't really want to share with Winry what had happened. I knew she would be upset. But, I knew she would be more upset if I didn't tell her.

"Al and I had been sent to different towns," I started. She lifted her eyes quickly, looking into my eyes desperately. I knew what she needed to hear. "But he is all right! I swear!" I said, hoping to ease her discomfort.

"How do you know that?" she asked quietly.

"We – me and the soldiers – got a short radio message right before…" I said, trailing off.

"Before what?"

It was extremely difficult to share this with Winry. I knew she loved me as a dear friend, and wouldn't want me to get hurt. Telling the story of my near death would be more difficult than I thought. "Before we were attacked," I said quickly. "Al had been talking into the radio. He said seven short words; _We are doing all right here. You?_ After that, everything went black for me," I said.

I looked at her; she was trembling slightly, and I knew she was about to cry again. It broke my heart to see her cry because of me.

"Winry, I don't want to go on," I said, grasping her hand.

She stayed quiet for a minute. "No, please do. Please, Ed…" she said, hiding her eyes in her other hand.

"Why?" I asked gently.

"I-I want to know what happened."

"Why?" I pressed further.

"Please, Ed. Do this for me," she said, letting her hand drop to her lap as she pleaded me with her eyes.

I sighed, and rested my head against the pillow beneath me. I looked away from Winry, so I wouldn't have to see her cry again. I kept my grasp firm on her hand, though.

I was going to tell her what happened.


	3. Chapter 2

**The day before**

"Al? Al! Piece of crap," I said, hitting my automail arm on the radio. It gave a satisfactory _clank_ sound before it started working again. I picked up the transmitter, pressing the button on the side.

"Brother?" I heard the radio crackle out.

"Yeah, Al. I can hear you now," I said, smiling to myself. "I had to beat up the machine to get it to work, though."

"Remember to turn the machine off when you are done. The button is all the way at the top. Sure you can reach it?"

I looked at the radio machine next to me, and the button, which reached, just about my waist.

I drew in a deep breath, and pushed the button on the transmitter. "ARE YOU CALLING ME SHORT?!" I shouted into the radio, earning a few looks from the soldiers.

All I could then hear were Al's childish giggles over the radio. He always got more brave when there was distance between us.

I put my elbow on top of the radio, and rested my chin in my palm. I decided to let that one go. I brought the transmitter to my mouth.

"So, how's it going there?"

He stayed quiet for a moment. He was probably shocked by how mildly – if it can be called that – I had reacted.

"We are doing all right here. You?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but then something hard hit the back of my head. The pain soared through my body. All I could hear was "brother, brother" coming from the radio before I fell into a silent darkness.

After what seemed like eternity, my head begun to throb. The throbbing kept getting stronger and stronger before my senses started returning to me. A revolting smell penetrated my nose. I slowly opened my eyes, bringing my hand over my nose.

My eyes widened when I saw a soldier – who had been standing just a few yards away from me – lying in front of me, dead. I sat up quickly, shocked by the scene around me – all of the soldiers, the whole squad, dead. I stood up.

Everything was silent, and eerie. I gathered that the attacker, or attackers, had left.

Suddenly, something hit my back, sending me to the ground. After that, I heard a loud clanging penetrating the silence that was before. After a second, I realized that the attacker was hitting my automail leg; possibly to break it.

"Fuck," I whispered, moving my leg quickly out of the way and jumping into a standing position. I transmuted my automail arm into a blade, as I had done many times before, and turned around, prepared to kill me attacker.

I was shocked with what I saw.

A small girl stood before me, tears in her eyes. A small girl with blonde hair, who reminded me so much of Winry when we were younger. I suddenly felt like a monster.

However, I immediately was suspicious and looked at her left leg; searching for Envy's Ouroboros tattoo. She didn't have one.

I kneeled down, so I was at her eye level. Hesitatingly, I placed my left hand – my flesh hand – on her shoulder. It seemed to ease her discomfort, slightly much to my relief. However, she didn't pay much attention to me; her eyes were fixated on the dead soldiers. I tried to hide the scene of murder with my body, and when I did so she looked at me.

"Are you lost?" I asked.

She shook her head.

"You should go home," I told her, squeezing her shoulder gently.

She shook her head again.

I looked at her in a confused manner. "Why not?"

She answered in six words, in a voice that sounded so much like my Winry's.

"Because I have to kill you," she said.

Right then, I saw the Ouroboros tattoo. It had been on her forehead, hidden by her blonde hair.

She was strong. She moved fast. I could feel her injuring my whole body, but I couldn't move; I couldn't bring myself to hurt her, to hurt…Winry. When she had beaten my body enough, she started attacking my automail. Right at that moment, something came to my realisation; I had to protect these automail. They were the only thing keeping my connected to the real Winry.

I started blocking her attacks to the best of my ability. However, I could feel my power draining, and I knew I didn't have too much strength left. I tried to think that this wasn't Winry, but it was hard.

I started attempting hitting her, but, as I already stated, she was fast. For a second, she lost her concentration when her blow to my automail didn't break it, and I hit her in the chest. She fell to the ground, and I pinned her down.

"I'm sorry, Winry," I whispered, a few tears streaking from my eyes. I knew this wasn't Winry, and that my eyes were deceiving me, but it felt like…it felt like I was killing the girl I loved.

I raised my automail blade, ready to strike it through her. A few inches from her, she began to transform, just like Envy. In a few moments, she had become Winry. Not the small girl, but Winry.

"Edward, please don't do this. Please," she said, sounding exactly like my Winry. I saw the tears forming in her eyes, and they soon fell down her cheeks.

I froze. In my moment of hesitation, a smirk crossed her face right before she hit me on my chest, which sent me on my back. Right after this, she began to administer more blows on my body – harder than before.

Hitting young Winry had been hard enough. Hitting Winry…I would rather kill myself.

I knew my body was losing blood. I knew I couldn't survive for long. I knew I would die here, I would die now.

However, then she said something that made me realize that I can't die here.

"Humans…so pathetic," she said, something exactly a Homunculus would say.

This simple sentence, these three words, were what made me realize that I had to live. My Winry was in Risembool; she wasn't here. And I would not die before I told her how I felt about her.

Much to the Homunculus' surprise, I began to move. Fast. I was even surprised myself; it must have been love. Love, love for Winry that was keeping me alive.

I struck her in her stomach, then her face. It wasn't enough, though. She kept hitting me harder, and trying to strike my automail leg and arm.

I clapped my hands together, creating walls of the earth around her. She was surprised, yet again; this was the first time I was using alchemy in this fight. I'm not sure why I didn't think of it before; I must've been too distracted by Winry, and the Homunculus.

She was knocked down to the floor by the walls, but jumped back up quickly. She ran swiftly past me, and then she was right in front of me. Confused by her actions, I didn't know how to react. She grabbed onto my automail arm, and grasped it with all her strength; the metal slowly came apart. She then pulled my arm out of its socket, disconnecting the nerves.

I let out a scream, falling to my knees. She used this to her advantage, and began hitting my body again. I stood up quickly, enraged. She backed off a few yards, prepared for my next attack.

All I could feel was my anger; my anger for this Homunculus. She had destroyed something that was given to me by the girl I love; something that was so precious to me. I ran quickly to her, and pinned her into a tree. I pushed against her with all the strength I had in me; much to my surprise, she couldn't budge.

She wasn't a Homunculus.

"Who are you?" I asked, looking into her eyes.

"Wha-? Edward, it's Winry," she tried, more tears streaking down her eyes.

"No, you're not! No. You. Are. Not," I said, slowly. "Who are you?!" I screamed into her face.

That disgusting smirk was on her face again. "I might as well tell you. I am a Homunculus."

"No, you aren't. If you were a Homunculus I wouldn't be able to pin you to a fucking tree," I said, anger in my voice.

"I am. But I am not like the other Homunculi; if you haven't noticed, I am not a sin," she said, talking to me as if I was a child. "Our father decided to get rid of another emotion completely useless to him; love. Such a pathetic emotion, really."

I grasped her tighter. "It is not pathetic."

"Oh, but it is. Whoever sees me sees the person they love most. You see Winry Rockbell. You saw her as a young child because that is when you started loving her," she said, then started giggling.

"What is so funny?" I asked sternly.

She started laughing now. "You know, all of those soldiers I killed; they were killed by the person they love the most. By their wife, child, anyone…it is so humorous, really."

I couldn't take this anymore – especially not when she looked like Winry.

"None of the soldiers even attacked me –" she started, but was cut off when I plunged my hand into her forehead. She let out a piercing scream.

The Philosopher's Stone; I had to get it. If she weren't like the other Homunculi, she wouldn't survive without it being in her given body.

Suddenly, I felt a strong power that was now flowing through me. It was the stone. I wrapped my two fingers around it, and pulled it quickly out of her. Her body immediately dispersed, and the stone into dust in my hand. I fell to my knees, more tears flowing from my eyes.

It felt like I had just killed my love.

I had to go to her. I had to see Winry, right now.


End file.
